Perfectionists can change too

As I was going to sleep last night, I was reviewing in my head what I had said to a client earlier that day. I started to wonder if I chose the best tact, and then promptly thought “I did the best I could at the time.” I realized, in that moment, that thought is not unusual for me.

This realization made me sit straight up in bed. You see, for much of my life I second-guessed myself. I almost constantly mulled over past decisions, conversations, and actions, trying to figure out how I could have done better.

I am a perfectionist at heart. We perfectionists tend to be very hard on ourselves; “I did the best I could at the time” is not a phrase most perfectionists believe applies to them. So the fact that I realized I now frequently say that to myself, and believe it, came as quite a shock.

Almost every client who walks through my door is a perfectionist. They believe they can make themselves better by beating themselves up for thoughts or actions they deem less than perfect. (Let’s face it, that is almost everything.) I tell them they’ve come to the right place; I know what constant self-castigation feels like. I also know the great gift we can give ourselves, and others, by letting that belief in perfection go.

My latest "Truth"

We are driven by our needs and beliefs.
It is useful to know what they are.

My true religion, my simple faith is in love and compassion. There is no need for complicated philosophy, doctrine, or dogma. Our own heart, our own mind, is the temple. The doctrine is compassion. Love for others and respect for their rights and dignity, no matter who or what they are - these are ultimately all we need.

~Dalai Lama